The truth is...

Every failed attempt is one more chance to try again

||Talk to me|| facebook.com/kenfleet

||Watch me talk|| twitter.com/kenfleet

July 22, 2013

I know I’m supposed to be the optimistic “everything will be ok” guy but It’s getting really hard not to give up and go home.

New song. Coming soon. Http://www.facebook.com/bearscoutofficial

Coma (Music Video) - YouTube

I released a small collection of acoustic songs on soundcloud yesterday. This is a video I put together for my song “Coma.”

June 11th, 2013

I’m currently driving a rental car across Kansas after spending an incredible (but short) week with my family at my sister’s place in Colorado. I only get to see them once or twice a year so I always soak it up. This is the first time I’ve driven instead if flying and must admit that although I’m exhausted, I’m grateful for the quiet trip that I can use to reflect and really think. Now, since I don’t assume that a large group of people actively seek out knowledge of my day-to-day well being, I’ll address this directly to you. The person who’s curiosity at *THIS moment somehow brought you to my blog.

It’s easy to passively gather info regarding someone’s psyche or state of mind by glancing at their twitter or Facebook updates. In fact, one may even be tempted to form an opinion of another’s personality or demeanor via this means. I hope to god that’s not the situation in my case; mostly due to the fact that most of my tweets and statuses are poorly developed one-liners begat from my over-active mind. I’ve always thought of myself as a positive guy with nothing but good things to say about the world and people around me. But I guess I’ve failed at conveying that through the microscope that is social media. So, in an effort to rekindle that positive presentation that you may or may not recollect; here’s the update:

In April my band Farewell Fighter announced that we had signed a record deal with a small label. This news was exciting to me not because “we got signed” but because at the time leading up to the deal, we weren’t sure we’d be able to be a band much longer. If you’re a fan/were a fan, you know we’ve been through some shit. A lot of shit. It was getting hard to balance the back breaking work and financial responsibility that comes with being in an unsigned band AND my life essentials. But at the core of what makes me thankful that we didn’t call it quits when we could have - and probably should have - are the new songs. There are some people living in dire need of reassurance that there is a purpose to keep living. And without coming off as “self-serving” I think our new music needs to heard by those who need it most. FF has always been about hope and happiness in the face of adversity. The new songs on our full length record (coming out in early August) capture this in the exact way that I intended from the start. I’m still excited about the future of that band.

In an ironic turn of events, during the process of writing the latest FF record, I wrote some songs that began as concepts for that project but bloomed into something totally different. After we picked the songs for the record I had a whole bunch left over. Since the style was something totally different altogether, I figured I would develop them and explore the new turn my writing had taken. Shortly After I developed a few of the tracks, I met Alison Ariel. We had a mutual friend and I knew she could sing so I asked her to record the vocals to the songs (my voice didn’t exactly fit the new style). Shortly after we began working together, one of our songs was heard by a licensing placement agent who thought we’d be a good fit for a project they were working on with a big client. Before I knew it we were writing an original song for Coca Cola to use in a global partnership they’re launching with Spotify this summer. It transpired so quickly that we didn’t even have a name for the project when we were signing the paperwork. We decided to call the band Bear Scout (http://www.facebook.com/bearscoutofficial) and have some incredible things coming up that I can only imagine that if you’re still reading this you’ll shit when you know.

In short I guess what I’m getting at is that I’m happy and still hard at work achieving my goals, albeit in a slightly different direction than I had originally planned. Then again I guess that’s kind of the beautiful thing about life.

You never know what happens next.

December 9th, 2012

It’s raining. I’m sitting in my apartment alone listening to some songs the world hasn’t heard yet. Songs I poured my heart and soul into. The lyrics have never been so true. I’m feeling something I’ve never felt before. An excitement and a sadness all at the same time. It’s something I can neither explain nor comprehend. The only comparison would be to imagine hugging a lifelong friend one last time before you board an airplane bound for a new life but not knowing if you’ll ever see them again. All I can assume is that something very important is going to happen soon. Whether it be an important thing for me personally, or for someone who has been in my life in the past few years, I know something big is on the horizon. And I can’t wait to know if it’s something good.

I hope it’s something good.

Please watch this video and share it. It means a lot.

I wrote the first song on Fall Out Boy’s next album. Have a listen to the demo here.

A new song I wrote over the weekend. Not sure what to do with it yet…

LYRICS:

I’ll bet you got a lot to say
Make it fast before your lips up and run away
All you really have to say is “Oh baby, oh baby”
All the rest I already know

Oh, we never thought of it at all
We were animals
No, we’ll never get it back
We never got it, never got it ‘till the world turned black

I know it’s hard not to live your life
So concerned with what is wrong and what is right
All you really need to know how many hearts you stole
Before you let mine go

I’m blacking out

Oh, we never thought of it at all
We were animals
No, we’ll never get it back
We never got it, never got it ‘till the world turned black

June 7th, 2012

If I wrote a blog every time I needed to express something in my head or heart I’d have as many paragraphs as there are seconds in the day. Then again, the sad fact is that the world I live in isn’t one that really prefers to partake in information via any form other than pop songs or viral videos. More and more these days it seems like the feelings we have are becoming validated or diminished by the amount of ‘notes’ it receives in the digital world. I guess that makes the importance of simple text blogs that much more meaningful to those who actually take the time to read them. Fortunately, for those who prefer the prior, in this instance I don’t plan to make any sort of intellectual or introspective allocation of logic toward worldly mysteries or physiological abnormalities pertaining to ones life. Therefore, those who choose to skip this tiny little drop in the ocean of social networking drool won’t be missing anything epic or life changing. I’m of no more importance than yourself, nor is the opposite true. But sometimes its nice to feel like we are, right? Sometimes it’s nice to know that there’s nobody else in the world like us. Nobody else who can do or think or act the way we do. Even so, it’s hard to understand why sometimes in this life we meet people who can be so cruel to those around them. Love is both seemingly the simplest and most complex of human emotions. To fall in love with someone during the veritable roller-coaster of life is almost as unavoidable as the conclusion of that very same ride. Yet, when you consider the amount of destruction and hate that exists on this self indulgent planet, it becomes difficult to deduce the reason behind ones inability to love each and every other living counter-part that roams this globe. Why is it so hard to find beauty in someone who is of a different color, size, shape or cultural background? To say that I believe this question to be “the point of life” would be a stretch. But I do believe it’s a claim worth putting a little thought into. The truth is, to find hard logic behind any act of hate would be as ignorant as the perpetrator in said act. As subjective as a silly thing like ‘logic’ can be, I tend to believe that life is like a multiple choice quiz. Some questions may very well have an ‘all of the above’ answer.

We are all alive. We are all dying. We all bleed. We all laugh. We all cry. We all want to be something. We all want to be loved.

So love.

REMEMBER TO BREATH: MY LIFE IN A SELF-CONSCIOUS NUTSHELL
——————————-
I’m writing this at the right time in my life. I’m 25 years old now and would like to think I’ve been through enough shit to write a novel. For now I’ll keep it to 1,000 words or less (single-spaced, of course.) Lately, some people have decided to share their stories of hardship with me. Maybe because they relate to the lyrics in the songs I create, maybe not. Either way, I’ve decided to share my story.
—
If you can believe it, that guy on the far right of the photo is me. I’m 19 years old and weigh about 275 pounds in that picture. From about the age of seven I remember struggling with my weight. I was born with severe asthma - a medical condition that could literally kill me if not for the medication I take every morning / night (even to this day.) The condition may or may not have led to my becoming over-weight due to my restricted physical activities as a child. Some days I wasn’t allowed to go outside to play because I was “breathing odd” or “showing signs of a impending asthma attack.” I was in and out of the hospital due to multiple episodes during which I felt as if I would die from lack of oxygen. I literally couldn’t breath. I was always told by doctors that I would ‘grow out of’ my asthma so I was kept my head up. On August 7, 1997 my direction in life would take a sharp turn.
—
I was 10 years old when I watched Garth Brooks perform during an HBO special called Live in Central Park with my family. I’d been a fan of his for sometime by then and insisted to my mother that we watch it together. I watched the concert from beginning to end, seemingly without blinking. Something about the way he interacted with the crowd, ran around that stage, and gave all of himself during each song struck me. After that night, I truly knew what I wanted to do with my life. I bugged my parents for a guitar for my 11th birthday….and I got it.
—
I dedicated hours upon hours to learning to play that guitar and began writing my own songs by the age of 14. Still struggling with my weight and asthma, I found safety and comfort in those 6-strings and the lyrical release that came with composing songs using the thoughts in my head. I was also struggling at school with verbal bullying from individuals who thought less of me for my physical appearance and my lack of participation in school sports. My weight was only increasing - peaking around 280 just before graduation high school. With that weight increase came a decrease in my confidence and self-esteem. I dedicated more time to my instrument and even soon discovered that I had a decent voice and was able to carry tune. It was my escape from the world of health issues, unpopularity and shame.
—
I hadn’t planned to go to college. In fact I loathed the idea of being further subjected to the pains of social interaction with judgmental and under-appreciative bullies. By the time was a senior in high school, I’d become rather proficient in my guitar playing and vocal abilities. My mother convinced me to audition for the music department at the community college in our hometown of Riverton, WY. To my surprise, I found great enjoyment in the process of preparing my audition and was ultimately offered a full-ride scholarship to participate in the Associate of Arts program for a degree in Music Performance, which I accepted. I found confidence in that two years at school as I was surrounded by like-minded human beings and discovered my ultimately endless capabilities as an artist. I focused all my efforts on bettering my songwriting and set a goal to begin a band.
—
After graduating college, I produced a full length album of songs I’d written during the experience and released them under the alias ‘Automatic Boy.’ I released the songs via MySpace and began performing with an acoustic guitar in coffee shops, cafeterias and living rooms across the state of Wyoming. I formed a band and began playing full fledged rock concerts and touring the northwest in a van. Soon we were hearing people say things like “Your music is incredible” and “I’m so glad I found your band.” My confidence was at an all-time high. Unfortunately, so was my weight.
—
We weren’t gaining any steady footing or being taken seriously by anyone in the ‘industry.’ In the summer of 2008, as a 20-something in a society that pits the pressures of success against the ever-changing world of ‘beauty’ - and after watching many other bands achieve success (all of which noted as being more “attractive” than myself by societal standards) the band decided to call it quits. We broke up and went our separate ways. In the sleepless nights that followed the breakup, I began to piece together the cruel reality: If anyone was ever going to take me and my music seriously, I need to get in shape. It was no longer an option.
—
I took action. I set physical goals, monitored my diet closely, and reminded myself of the rewards to being in better shape: I’ll feel better, I’ll look better, and ultimately I’ll be more successful in life. In the year that followed I dropped nearly 100 pounds. In that time, I helped form and establish an up and coming band from Nashville, TN called Farewell Fighter. A band that has subsequently toured the entire continental U.S., received national media coverage, and has begun to reflect a positive impact on multiple individuals who have expressed experiences very similar to my own.
—
If you’re reading this now and feel as if you yourself are limited in life by your physical appearance, your background or even your geographical location; I need you to know that there is only one thing that will ever, EVER break through that barrier. That thing is YOU.
—
I won’t tell you that I’m fully comfortable in my body yet. I still have days where I wish I looked more like Ryan Gossling. But when I think back to where I was 5 years ago, my sight shifts back to where I’m headed rather than where I am.
—
Stop trying to change yesterday.
—
Start creating tomorrow.

REMEMBER TO BREATH: MY LIFE IN A SELF-CONSCIOUS NUTSHELL

——————————-

I’m writing this at the right time in my life. I’m 25 years old now and would like to think I’ve been through enough shit to write a novel. For now I’ll keep it to 1,000 words or less (single-spaced, of course.) Lately, some people have decided to share their stories of hardship with me. Maybe because they relate to the lyrics in the songs I create, maybe not. Either way, I’ve decided to share my story.

If you can believe it, that guy on the far right of the photo is me. I’m 19 years old and weigh about 275 pounds in that picture. From about the age of seven I remember struggling with my weight. I was born with severe asthma - a medical condition that could literally kill me if not for the medication I take every morning / night (even to this day.) The condition may or may not have led to my becoming over-weight due to my restricted physical activities as a child. Some days I wasn’t allowed to go outside to play because I was “breathing odd” or “showing signs of a impending asthma attack.” I was in and out of the hospital due to multiple episodes during which I felt as if I would die from lack of oxygen. I literally couldn’t breath. I was always told by doctors that I would ‘grow out of’ my asthma so I was kept my head up. On August 7, 1997 my direction in life would take a sharp turn.


I was 10 years old when I watched Garth Brooks perform during an HBO special called Live in Central Park with my family. I’d been a fan of his for sometime by then and insisted to my mother that we watch it together. I watched the concert from beginning to end, seemingly without blinking. Something about the way he interacted with the crowd, ran around that stage, and gave all of himself during each song struck me. After that night, I truly knew what I wanted to do with my life. I bugged my parents for a guitar for my 11th birthday….and I got it.

I dedicated hours upon hours to learning to play that guitar and began writing my own songs by the age of 14. Still struggling with my weight and asthma, I found safety and comfort in those 6-strings and the lyrical release that came with composing songs using the thoughts in my head. I was also struggling at school with verbal bullying from individuals who thought less of me for my physical appearance and my lack of participation in school sports. My weight was only increasing - peaking around 280 just before graduation high school. With that weight increase came a decrease in my confidence and self-esteem. I dedicated more time to my instrument and even soon discovered that I had a decent voice and was able to carry tune. It was my escape from the world of health issues, unpopularity and shame.

I hadn’t planned to go to college. In fact I loathed the idea of being further subjected to the pains of social interaction with judgmental and under-appreciative bullies. By the time was a senior in high school, I’d become rather proficient in my guitar playing and vocal abilities. My mother convinced me to audition for the music department at the community college in our hometown of Riverton, WY. To my surprise, I found great enjoyment in the process of preparing my audition and was ultimately offered a full-ride scholarship to participate in the Associate of Arts program for a degree in Music Performance, which I accepted. I found confidence in that two years at school as I was surrounded by like-minded human beings and discovered my ultimately endless capabilities as an artist. I focused all my efforts on bettering my songwriting and set a goal to begin a band.

After graduating college, I produced a full length album of songs I’d written during the experience and released them under the alias ‘Automatic Boy.’ I released the songs via MySpace and began performing with an acoustic guitar in coffee shops, cafeterias and living rooms across the state of Wyoming. I formed a band and began playing full fledged rock concerts and touring the northwest in a van. Soon we were hearing people say things like “Your music is incredible” and “I’m so glad I found your band.” My confidence was at an all-time high. Unfortunately, so was my weight.

We weren’t gaining any steady footing or being taken seriously by anyone in the ‘industry.’ In the summer of 2008, as a 20-something in a society that pits the pressures of success against the ever-changing world of ‘beauty’ - and after watching many other bands achieve success (all of which noted as being more “attractive” than myself by societal standards) the band decided to call it quits. We broke up and went our separate ways. In the sleepless nights that followed the breakup, I began to piece together the cruel reality: If anyone was ever going to take me and my music seriously, I need to get in shape. It was no longer an option.

I took action. I set physical goals, monitored my diet closely, and reminded myself of the rewards to being in better shape: I’ll feel better, I’ll look better, and ultimately I’ll be more successful in life. In the year that followed I dropped nearly 100 pounds. In that time, I helped form and establish an up and coming band from Nashville, TN called Farewell Fighter. A band that has subsequently toured the entire continental U.S., received national media coverage, and has begun to reflect a positive impact on multiple individuals who have expressed experiences very similar to my own.

If you’re reading this now and feel as if you yourself are limited in life by your physical appearance, your background or even your geographical location; I need you to know that there is only one thing that will ever, EVER break through that barrier. That thing is YOU.

I won’t tell you that I’m fully comfortable in my body yet. I still have days where I wish I looked more like Ryan Gossling. But when I think back to where I was 5 years ago, my sight shifts back to where I’m headed rather than where I am.

Stop trying to change yesterday.

Start creating tomorrow.